An obituary for the ego of Liza Prance

(b. 2007 – d. 2025)

Today, with all the solemnity of a sinking ship, we announce the passing of Liza Prance’s Ego, aged 18, following a brief but very public battle with irrelevance.

Born in 2007 in a vibrantly diverse but extremely expensive liberal arts college, Liza’s Ego showed promise from the beginning. It first distinguished itself at the age of seven by correcting adults on issues of microaggressions, despite only having one black friend.

By 15, the Ego was already contributing to The New York Times, boldly declaring that the greatest threat to humanity was people over the age of 40. Naturally, it accompanied this with a Kinfolk photo spread entitled “Me, My Voice, and 17 Loosely Arranged Peonies.”

The Ego's professional life was meteoric. It rose to fame as the face of the movement #ActuallyMyPerspective, aimed at raising awareness about perspectives that no one asked for but everyone was expected to fund.

In 2022, the Ego reached its peak influence after declaring that its generation—and only its generation—had the moral courage to survive global pandemics, elections, and recessions, despite numerous other, older generations awkwardly being alive at the same time and experiencing precisely the same events.

Tragically, the beginning of the end came when Liza’s Ego, in an act of misplaced bravery, ventured into an actual working-class town and attempted to explain to a group of factory workers how they had been voting incorrectly.

Witnesses report the Ego was finally laid to rest when a local plumber asked, "Are you going to help me pull this dead possum out of the septic tank or what?"—a question no amount of re-staging or self-help quotes could recover from.

Liza Prance, the host body, survives. She has since pivoted to the School of Hard Knocks, where she is reportedly majoring in Self-Awareness with a minor in Humility.

A memorial service will be held at the Museum of Unread Think Pieces, followed by an interpretive dance performance titled “Grief is Violence.” Mourners are kindly asked to bring their condolences in meme form, preferably ones that require a lengthy caption to explain why they're brave.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Society for the Preservation of Self-Important Narratives.