Are you tired of humanity yelling at itself like a pack of hungry raccoons?

Well fret no more!

Are you exhausted from outrage marathons, moral posturing, and the creeping suspicion that civilization is quietly questioning your right to exist?

Well fret no more! Put it in a paradox!

Yes, you heard right. You can now wrap your existential dread, ideological panic, and moral confusion into one sleek Mary Oliver’ed poem—guaranteed to make every moral panic 72% more socially acceptable across the political spectrum.

But how does it work?

We’ve upgraded the gladiatorial arena of moral superiority into an intellectual escape room. Picture riddles, hidden doors, clever traps, and the occasional longing into the abyss. Just put your side in the same sentence with their side and watch as words transform from blunt instruments for domination to a crazy concept called nuance.

Inside the mind-bending paradox:

• Questions > Answers

• Curiosity > Certainty

• Wonder > Cognitive dissonance without anyone needing to yell, throw objects, or faint dramatically

The moment things get heated, just put it in a paradox like an episode of Portlandia, sprucing it up and making it pretty. Suddenly, even the nastiest ideological clash feels like inception where everyone’s right, everyone’s wrong, and nobody gets assassinated.

EXPANSION PACKS

Abortion Paradox Pack

• Life without agency is incomplete and agency without life cannot exist.

• Summon peculiar creatures of insight like the “Centaur of Conundrums” and the “Basilisk of Bewildered Ethics”

• Turns Thanksgiving shouting matches into guided tours of paradoxical wonder

Gun Control Paradox Pack

• Safety and danger arrive through the same door.

• Features a supermarket escape room and hypothetical zombies

• Hijacks fear into playful debate without ever requiring a literal firearm

Homelessness Paradox Pack

• Security without dignity is still oppression. Freedom without shelter is still suffering.

• Includes city-scale metaphorical puzzles and ethically questionable Monopoly boards

• Turns pity, guilt, and outrage into productive, mind-expanding curiosity

Bonus Mega-Paradox Pack

• For those who want every issue simultaneously paradox-ed

• Comes with a 20-sided dice, a spinning wheel of moral confusion, and a tiny philosophical llama

• Perfect for parties, councils, and global conflict resolutions

Testimonials:

“I used to yell at my friends about gun control. Now we just roll the dice and discuss safety paradoxes while eating pizza.” - Chad, 27

“The Abortion Paradox Pack saved my family Thanksgiving. Aunt Mildred only fainted twice.” - Pat, 32

“Finally, I feel cultured and morally complex at the same time.” - Greg, still unsure if he’s right or wrong

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What the heck did I just read?

For the past five years (give or take the time I’ve lost staring at the wall), I’ve been passionate about how to prevent the collapse of public discourse by removing the illusions of my own ego—not surgically, though that would have been quicker—to see things from a higher vantage point, immerse myself in contentious spaces, and decode the psychologically sieged left, right, and center. (What could possibly go wrong?)

Along the way I dismantle cherished beliefs and any hope of ever being invited to parties again, while launching thought experiments of relentless intensity—sitting in uncertainty nearly every waking hour—to end destructive cancel culture, befriend political “enemies,” and attempt a Mike Wazowski by shifting the entire market economy from fear to joy, in order to make space for human flourishing.

My method is, naturally, principled reverse engineering of thought, human nature, character building, and systems, delicately interwoven with agile design thinking.

And through it all I’ve learned to let go of control with the grace and subtlety of a clumsy swan, staring into my deepest fears until they transcend into something higher—or at least more absurd and wonderful. Because hurt people hurt people and transformed people restore the balance of the universe, or at a minimum, stop you from yelling at strangers on the internet.