Get Too Comfy and You’re Doomed: A Survival Guide

Lesson #1 In How Not to Suck at Being a Human

Ah, the ego. My old nemesis. It took me years of battling it, like some misunderstood villain in a melodrama, to realize that one of the main reasons I had severe depression for so long was that I unknowingly had a massive, oversized ego. Now, don’t get me wrong—this wasn’t some mustache-twirling, “I’m better than everyone” ego. No, mine was trickier. I thought I had a huge heart, that I was practically a saint who cared deeply about the suffering of others. Spoiler alert: I was wrong. You see, the ego loves to play dress-up, and mine had slipped into the costume of a do-gooder while secretly sowing seeds of self-righteous anger.

The thing about anger—especially the kind that crops up over life’s inherent unfairness—is that it’s almost always rooted in self-righteousness. You think you’re fighting for justice, but really, you’re just mad because it’s making you feel uncomfortable. And if there’s one thing the ego can’t stand, it’s discomfort. In my case, every time I saw injustice, I’d feel powerless. And powerless? Oh, that’s the ego’s kryptonite. So what did I do? I got angry. Not because the world was unfair, but because it made me feel small.

The ego’s a clever little thing, always whispering in your ear, convincing you that your needs must be met at all times—preferably with minimal inconvenience, thank you very much. And if someone gets in the way of that? Well, they must be held accountable immediately, and then banished to the Land of Never-Doing-That-Again. Nothing sends the ego into a rage quite like someone being unaccountable and doing wrongs on repeat. The horror! So naturally, the ego flips into full-blown defense mode: “We must enforce justice! Order is crumbling! And while we’re at it, let’s throw in some moral superiority for good measure.” Suddenly, it’s not about fixing the problem—it’s about proving how much better you are than the person who caused it. Ego 1, humility 0.

In a society driven by ego, comfort becomes the highest value. The people with the most comfort tend to have the biggest egos because they’ve forgotten what it’s like to suffer. They’re like Prince Humperdinck in The Princess Bride—used to a life of ease and luxury, completely incapable of dealing with hardship. Meanwhile, the true heroes are the ones like Westley or Fezzik (our beloved Andre the Giant), who are perfectly content with nothing but the clothes on their back and a good adventure ahead.

The truth is, expecting life to be fair is like showing up to a sword fight with a butter knife—you’re gonna get hurt, and fast. I know this because I lived in that miserable victim mentality for years. I didn’t even realize it until someone pointed it out, and of course, I got super defensive. “He’s victim-blaming me!” But after the initial shock wore off, I had that “aha” moment—yeah, I was being a total baby. I expected everyone to meet my needs, bend over backward for me, because, well, the world wasn’t treating me fairly. Newsflash: the world’s not bending for anyone.

You see, the ego loves to trick us into thinking we’re holier-than-thou. We judge others for their failings and act like we’ve got the moral high ground. But here’s the catch: the more you judge, the more corrupt you become. The ego wants you to believe you have the authority on good and evil, that you’re somehow above it all. But news flash number two: nobody’s above their ego. And once you’re judging others for doing bad things, you’re just feeding into the lie that you’re the righteous one. It’s a vicious cycle—one designed to keep you feeling trapped in that superiority complex that feels really satisfying. And all the while, your worldview is being propped up by a giant ego-shaped lie.

So what’s the solution? Be uncomfortable. No, really. Face your Goliath and lose on purpose. Be super weird to a bunch of strangers and make them feel uncomfortable. C’mon, you’re doing them a favor! Be uncomfortable with yourself and sit with your shortcomings. Move into an apartment that looks like something died in it and invite people over without changing anything. Or even better, tell everyone you saw someone die in that very spot—a good way to find out who your real friends are. Try something so difficult that failure is inevitable. Enter a race and come in dead-last by a long shot and share your results on Strava with the caption, “Beat my PR!” Because only through this discomfort will you learn how the ego works and break out of its clutches. And only by mastering that will you become a kinder, happier, more forgiving and loving person.

So yeah, suffering’s good for you. It builds character, just like in the stories we love. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll be more like Fezzik, calmly handling life’s chaos with a smile on your face and the wisdom knowing that the ego’s game is one you don’t have to play anymore.