Try Fake Heaven™ today!
The ultimate insulated paradise
Are you tired of reality? Do you find the truth to be a bit inconvenient? Introducing Fake Heaven™—the premium, handcrafted idyllic existence designed specifically for people who simply cannot be bothered with the real world!
Here at Fake Heaven™, we understand that facing actual reality is hard work. So we’ve created an exclusive, members-only utopia where you can feel special, morally superior, and completely unchallenged by dissenting opinions! No more existential dilemmas! No more accountability! Just pure, uninterrupted bliss (terms and conditions apply).
What does Fake Heaven™ include?
Our state-of-the-art echo chambers ensure you only hear the opinions you already agree with, repeated back at you with increasing confidence!
All inconvenient facts are meticulously filtered out. If it doesn’t confirm your worldview, it doesn’t exist!
The moment you step into Fake Heaven™, you are automatically correct about everything!
Customize your reality! Prefer to be a warrior for justice without actually doing anything? Done! Want to be a misunderstood genius without thinking for yourself? Absolutely!
Never experience the horror of personal growth again with Perpetual Comfort Mode!
But don’t take our word for it—here’s what our customers have to say about us!
“Before Fake Heaven™, I had to engage in nuanced conversations and consider opposing views. But now, I just block and report! Life has never been easier!”
—Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, U.S. Representative D-NY, 14th District
“I no longer talk to my family because they refuse to acknowledge my newfound enlightenment. Thanks, Fake Heaven™, for giving me a new family of like-minded believers!"
— Tiffany, Professional Victim & Wellness Guru
Warning: Fake Heaven™ (also known as Hell) is not responsible for cognitive dissonance, loss of credibility, or eventual identity crisis. Enter at your own risk.