Your advice to use this on narcissists is ill advised. This you describe; all is manipulation. Cracking a narc’s shell isn’t going to instill in them a “sense of wonder” - it’s going to unleash their Ultimate Defense. It’s going to make them want to destroy you. This is not good advice.
You raise a valid concern and I appreciate the pushback. However, my perspective comes from direct experience and research. Narcissists are already deeply engaged in manipulation—of others and themselves. The goal here isn’t to challenge them in a way that triggers their defenses, but to redirect their fixation toward something greater than themselves and something that evokes awe rather than control.
Instilling wonder doesn’t mean confronting them head-on or trying to break them down—it’s about shifting their attention away from their usual games. While some may resist or react defensively at first, many find themselves drawn in, precisely because wonder disrupts their usual patterns in a way they can’t easily manipulate.
That said, I absolutely agree that this approach isn’t for everyone or every situation. That’s why I frame it for online use with strangers rather than a toxic or dangerous context. But in the right setting, wonder can be a surprisingly effective tool—not to defeat them, but to create a moment where their usual tactics lose their grip, if only for a little while.
Thank you so much for sharing this, I can't tell you how helpful it was to read this today.
I hope it sparks some surprising and thought-provoking conversations! Can’t wait to hear how it goes! 🙌
Your advice to use this on narcissists is ill advised. This you describe; all is manipulation. Cracking a narc’s shell isn’t going to instill in them a “sense of wonder” - it’s going to unleash their Ultimate Defense. It’s going to make them want to destroy you. This is not good advice.
You raise a valid concern and I appreciate the pushback. However, my perspective comes from direct experience and research. Narcissists are already deeply engaged in manipulation—of others and themselves. The goal here isn’t to challenge them in a way that triggers their defenses, but to redirect their fixation toward something greater than themselves and something that evokes awe rather than control.
Instilling wonder doesn’t mean confronting them head-on or trying to break them down—it’s about shifting their attention away from their usual games. While some may resist or react defensively at first, many find themselves drawn in, precisely because wonder disrupts their usual patterns in a way they can’t easily manipulate.
That said, I absolutely agree that this approach isn’t for everyone or every situation. That’s why I frame it for online use with strangers rather than a toxic or dangerous context. But in the right setting, wonder can be a surprisingly effective tool—not to defeat them, but to create a moment where their usual tactics lose their grip, if only for a little while.