Alas, there is nothing fake about the hell you describe. The difficulties faced by our intrepid influencers are legion. They suffer so we can live.
The other day I saw one of them on Notes complaining how hard it was for influencers to get any traction on Substack. Good news for the rest of us of course.
We offer a Generational Curse™ package, where you and your loved ones can feel unsafe in the presence of a straight white male together for an eternity. Kids under five are free, but they do have to sit through a mandatory seminar on moral relativism first.
All suffering is recorded and available for later viewing on Damnation+, our exclusive on-demand service—now with a 24/7 live stream, so you can weep theatrically into the void.
Fake Heaven™ is one of our top sellers. Perfect for those who grace us with their deeply original thoughts like “This.” and “So much this.”
I'm so sorry I missed the release of Fake Heaven! I was in a weeklong DEI cowboy camp in rural Utah, and cell phones were strictly prohibited except when using the flashlight feature to find the correct race-delineated outhouse.
I don’t know who you are, but we are kindred spirits.
Which one would you like to be: Anne with an E or Diana Barry?
I'll be Diana even though she had a sad ending. 😉
Alas, there is nothing fake about the hell you describe. The difficulties faced by our intrepid influencers are legion. They suffer so we can live.
The other day I saw one of them on Notes complaining how hard it was for influencers to get any traction on Substack. Good news for the rest of us of course.
A few quick questions:
1. Do you offer family plans?
2. Is there a replay option for later viewing?
3. When does Fake Heaven get released, and can I be in the beta program?
Thank you for your attention.
Excellent questions!
We offer a Generational Curse™ package, where you and your loved ones can feel unsafe in the presence of a straight white male together for an eternity. Kids under five are free, but they do have to sit through a mandatory seminar on moral relativism first.
All suffering is recorded and available for later viewing on Damnation+, our exclusive on-demand service—now with a 24/7 live stream, so you can weep theatrically into the void.
Fake Heaven™ is one of our top sellers. Perfect for those who grace us with their deeply original thoughts like “This.” and “So much this.”
https://www.getweirdlogic.com/p/try-fake-heaven-today?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
I'm so sorry I missed the release of Fake Heaven! I was in a weeklong DEI cowboy camp in rural Utah, and cell phones were strictly prohibited except when using the flashlight feature to find the correct race-delineated outhouse.
this is wonderfully funny :)
i do adore a good golden milk latte
Honestly, same.